Birthday Weakened

7:30 is when I was in the building today. This is a far cry from my regular 9:00ish (read 9:30) trot into my cubicle. I was met today by the early go-getters on the metro. It was much less crowded in comparison to the 9:00 crowd since there are very few go-getters in the area. I give credit due to the overwhelming number of Federal employees.

There was one sight today that made me want to stick the bill of my duck umbrella into the side of this woman�s skull. She was standing at the bottom of the metro escalator taking a picture (most likely B&W) of a homeless man playing the violin for some change. I quickly summed up her M.O. by thinking that this was most likely a student of some sort, trying to capture the helplessness of society by taking Black and White photographs of those she sees as oppressed. These pictures will most likely be made into some sort of �Down with The Man� Collage that will serve as a center piece for discussion when she has her �intellectual� friends over for jungle juice while the listen to an indie rock band sing about toilets and windex. I wanted to rip the camera out of her hand and give it to the homeless man to go pawn for some liquor. Let�s call a spade a spade.

If you feel like having your entire life scrutinized, generalized, and made fun of, I�ll be happy to do it by watching you work in your natural habitat for a few seconds. It�s a freelance thing.

So this weekend there was more singing, some audblogging, and a little game everyone likes to play, �hey guess what? We just forgot something at the store.� Kristin and I made 3 trips over the course of an hour or so. One to get wine, beer, eggs, and ice. We came back with wine, beer, chips, eggs, coffee creamer, onion dip, beef jerky, a carton of cigarettes, and dye. Note the absence of ice. The bonus of the round one was going to our favorite gas station by the house run by an Asian family of some ilk. Recently the kids have taken over actually working the store and the parents must run it from behind the scenes. These kids (probably my age) are entirely too cool for school and when I used to live there they used to save me all the �buy two get one free� packages of Winston Lights. Good times. They also have a healthy fascination with anim�, Honda Civics, and Hello Kitty. There are highlights, pink paten leather handbags, and if you ask me, a slight overtone of Vicks vapor-rub. Kristin and I believe that once the doors are locked the station suddenly turns into one of the following, if not all:

1. A Rave

2. A scene from �The Fast and the Furious�

3. A scene from �The Fast and the Furious� on their way to a rave

4. A �Dance, Dance, Revolution� party

5. A scene from �You Got Served�

A couple of minutes after the groceries were put away our Mom goes for the ice and says, �did you guys get ice?� Commence round two. K and I rode on down to the Wa Wa (7-11ish type store) to get the ice and ran into a cross section of society I like to call trash. The women in front of us where hootin� and hollerin� at something while Kristin and hooted and hollered at their hair, make-up, and the one woman�s coat which, according to Kristin, had a lining like a Koosh. I�m surprised I made it out of the store alive because that remark caused me to essentially make a spectacle of myself in the store (surprise).

The third (turd) round was sponsored by Duracell and our need for 9-V batteries. The 9-V batteries would serve as the power source for the tools we got our Dad for his birthday. Liking a 9-V battery kind of stings, especially if you�re 5 (which is when I was dared to do it). Anywho, we sang, we danced, we had margaritas and were entertained by the Latino mothers who were there painting the house. One of the female painters knocked on our back door so she could use the bathroom. Why they let me answer the door is still a mystery. Someone was painting near the bathroom window at the time so when I opened the door and she looked at me sort of embarrassed-like and said �bathroom?� (Pronounced �ba-troom�) I was a little confused. I asked if she needed us to close the bathroom windows. She then looked puzzled, even more embarrassed and turned to look at Kristin who knew what the score was. Who�s a dumbass? Cause it�s not me.

I think I�ve exhausted most of the energy I�ve stored since my early wake up call this morning. There will be additional stories to follow. It�s still only 8:30. Damnit Eric, never come in early again. It doesn�t do you any good.

e.