MLK Day rimmed with insanity

I am still not up to full capacity thanks to a three-day weekend that saw Eric go out two nights in a row, the last of which allowed me to witness things that I hope I never again see in my lifetime. I attempted to get many things accomplished this weekend, most of which were completed to my satisfaction and some never even surfaced. I had planned on getting new brakes on my car, get a new pair of jeans, purchase some furnishings for the apartment and have some relaxing time at home.

Brakes: yeah, didn�t happen.

New Pair of Jeans: Let me just say that the search for a new pair of jeans inspired me to go to H&M, like I had stated in a previous entry. On Saturday Dr. C and I made a trip into the city to go to H&M and then a few stores near DuPont Circle. H&M was packed and it�s in an area of town where one must fight someone for a parking space. After circling the blocks a few times we decided to pull into a garage. I have never in my life seen spaces this narrow before. There was a line to get a space and the line trying to get out of the garage was even worse. This soured my mood from the get go. We park, we go to H&M and I spend about 10 minutes in there realizing how much the store sucks. I may not have given it a fair shot due to the Parking fiasco, but there wasn�t a damn thing in there I would have purchased. The whole trip was for nothing and I had to pay a 13-dollar flat rate for the garage because it was a weekend. I had been there for less than an hour, most of which was spend trying to find a parking space and then trying to get out. For that pleasure, I was charged 13 dollars. Thanks DC! We moved on to the Circle and I went to Universal Gear since they usually have a pretty decent selection of jeans. I should have taken it as a sign to get back in the car and go home when we parked and got out of the car it started sleeting and we had no umbrella. I have only tried on one pair in there before and they were shredded all up the thighs. I thought they would be cute. They weren�t. Anyway so this I get about four pairs of jeans that I think will fit my bulky legs.* When the label says low-rise, they really, really mean it. At first I thought the zipper was only halfway down. I think come to realize that no, it�s all the way down. I like to think that I have an ok body type. These jeans however, looked like they were painted on, came up to below my hipbone, and made my ass look like it had four cheeks. Needless to say I didn�t come out of the dressing room. Thanks for nothing Universal Gear!

*My legs, for my frame, are pretty large. Large not so much in a fatty way, but large in an overly muscular kind of way. I realize that most of this if genetic since my sister and my dad have the same thing going on with their tree trunks. There�s not much I can do save for atrophy. Not wanting to subject myself to that, I�ll have to search elsewhere for jeans.

Furnishings for the Apartment: This was one of the better times we had this weekend. We went to Ikea with my parents and wound up getting a rug thing for the bedroom and some decorative crap for the living room and then went to Target and bought some more storage things for DVDs and shoes in the closet. All around good purchases at great prices�good times there.

Relaxing time at home: There were some relaxing times this weekend however on Saturday I was called into duty. I had an 11:00 rendezvous at Cobalt for some drinks and to dance a jig or two. The originator of the plans was unable to make it, but I still had a pretty good time and the evening ended early. We got out of there before it got too crowded and had just enough fun. Sunday I was called back into action since Monday was a holiday and most of my friends didn�t have to work either. Sunday nights bring the best drink specials in town and that�s NEVER a good thing, especially when most people don�t have work on Monday and ESPECIALLY when there�s a Leather Ball in town right down the street from the bar. Upon entering JRs, I gave the doorman my ID and he looked at it, looked at me, remarking that he wasn't suprised that I was born in 1980, then looked at me again and said I had "wone the prize for tonight." Whatever, just give me back my ID you asshead. Leather caps, chaps, and harnesses were everywhere although the winner of the most tragic thing went to a rather portly fellow sporting nothing more than a Greco-Roman wrestling uniform, complete with ponytail. It was blue, shiny, and entirely too tight for his own good. I almost had to turn around and go home. I pressed on though, as did most of my friends. We pressed so hard that we wound up at the Lizard Lounge, a bar that I have never been to and never again will, especially on a Sunday night. Music wasn�t that great, drinks were expensive again and there was a 30 minute wait for the coat check. The apex of the evening is when we were walking to get our coats to leave and there was some trashy, TRASHY, ho getting a rim job while standing at the bar. Let me just say right here and now that EEWWWWWWWWWWW! Nothing says MLK Day like a tongue on your ass. We made a b-line for the diner, had some fried food and I couldn�t get home fast enough to try and erase that image from my mind. Like I said, never again at the Lizard Lounge�never again.

Now I�m at work and hoping it will soon pass. I�m waiting for the weekend so I can have a chance to catch up on lost sleep, and enjoying my sleep pants. Someone file me under �D� because I�m done for the day. I�ll see everyone in the gutter, or hell for that matter, either way, I�ll be tending bar and I�ll kick anyone out for doing trashy things or pissing me off by standing the wrong way.

e.