shower hijinx

I have been the laziest bastard ever when it comes to updating his diary. Last week, as you all may or may not know, I had conferences all day everyday which left poor Cupcake all kinds of tired during the evening hours. I had to deal with a pre-menopausal group leader who had hot flashes all the way through the week. Another one of the participants has Bells Palsy and for some reason wore this flesh colored eye patch under her glasses so it looked like she only had one eye. Those two mother coupled with the fact that I was taking minutes, running around with countless things strapped to my body made for an exhausting week and I would be willing to say that I�d rather piss on an electric fence than have to do it again.

The weekend offered two parties. One was a birthday thing at this restaurant called Honolulu, which was a Tiki bar/restaurant of sorts to include flaming drinks (Bacardi 151 style) and cups that you could take home if you wanted. I didn�t. My vodka and club soda didn�t come in novelty glassware molded like a totem pole. The birthday girl got a piece of cheesecake with a trick candle in it that doesn�t go out. Upon realizing this, her boyfriend, who was quite inebriated at the time, yelled �YOU TRICKY BASTARD� at the owner. It made my night.

Saturday Dr. C and I went to a party thrown by some of his co-workers. It was a themed party. Dubbed the �Warm, Fuzzy Sweater Party� you had to not only wear a warm, fuzzy sweater, but also bring liquor that started with the first letter of your last name. I brought Parrot Bay Rum. I wanted to get pepper stoli, however they were out. Sad, yes, but since I made nice with the store clerk there, she ordered it especially for me. YAY! Choice moments at the party were being called �HOT PANTS� as we were leaving.

Sunday was all about the lazy and yesterday and today have pretty much followed suit. Today I was afraid of getting yelled at because of something I gave out yesterday which I was told needed to be run by my boss first. Well, mother was out sick and I needed to give these things out regardless. I checked with my bosses boss who said it was cool, but I was still kinda worried so this morning while washing my hair in the shower I was going over the reasoning in my head so that I could quickly justify my actions. I�m not sure of Dr. C heard me doing this or what, but he was shaving and decided to stick his head in the shower and I caught this out of the corner of my eye. Aside from scaring the ever-loving piss out of me, I did a little soft shoe action while turning around. I believe I also made a noise that probably only bats could hear. The sound of my watered down tap dance kinda went *BUM-BUM...BUM*. My arms were behind my head from washing my hair so I had that look of someone about to be arrested. I�m sure my eyes also grew to the size of mars and shot out of my head like cannons, but not having a mirror all I knew was that I was in danger. Apparently when in danger, my body decides it's best defense is tap dancing. Lucky for Dr. C it isn't throwing a punch as hard as I can. I guess it�s fun to know that my reflexes are still intact and if I was ever called upon to play a mongoose in a play, I�d be their man. Had I not recovered in time I probably would have gone down while taking Dr. C, the shower curtain, or both, with me.

The rest of the week should be short and sweet as everyone and their mother takes vacation time. Friday is not a Federal holiday but it is for me, so screw you government! Since they don�t get Friday, people make up for it by taking Wednesday and Friday. This means that tomorrow will be a ghost town, and if you think I�m hanging around here for it, you�ve got another thing comin�.

e.