Pimpslaps for Eric!

kitten - 2003-10-21 12:49:04
LET ME DANCE FOR YOU! LET ME TRY! (that was my chorus line impression.) ahem. so, a guy walks into a bar talkin' shit about how he can fart dixie. so, of course, the bartender is all, yeah, buddy, whatever, okay, you drink for free tonight if you do it. so, the guy stands up on the bar, drops trou, and takes a dump. the bartender is all pissed off, and the guy says "WHAT?!!! even mozart had to clear his throat!" I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK, FOLKS, TRY THE VEAL.
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Cupcake - 2003-10-21 12:55:10
So this guy walks up to the bar and bets the bartender 100 dollars that he can piss across the bar and into the beer mug that's at the other end. He claims he can do this without one drop of piss landing on the bar. The bartender sees this as a "golden opportunity" since he knows it's impossible. Mother whips out his peeper and proceeds to piss all over the place including the bar, the bar tender, and other patrons. The bartender is smiling because he knows he just made 100 bucks. The guy walks back to where he was standing collects 500 dollars from his friends and then struts up to the bar, hands the bartender 100 dollars and says "i bet them 500 dollars that you would let me piss all over you and your bar."
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nina - 2003-10-21 13:23:46
good for you with the lifting. Being bored and alone makes me want to lie down with wine and do nothing.
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michelle - 2003-10-21 13:36:53
oooh I want to see before and after shots, I want to see you buff like whoa! And yes, tortilla chips do not do well in the microwave, they get all soggy, and then they taste scary. *smile*
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claudia - 2003-10-21 15:32:18
i can't wait until people start collecting the new pretty money the way they collected the new stupid quarters. i was like, "check it, pops, the OLD quarters are what you should be collecting."
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porktornado - 2003-10-21 16:27:34
SO this guy walks into a bar and claims that he can idetify any kind of wood by smelling it. Puts on a blindfold and bets a dude $100 that this is in fact the case. The guy makes him sniff a barstool leg, and he says "Spalted pine". He was right, so the guy hold up a piece of molding off the wall, and he says "honey oak". By now, the dude is getting worried about the security of his $100, so he pulls up a floorboard and gets one of the female patrons to rub it in her hoo-ha. The man in the blindfold sniffs it, looks confused, sniffs it a few more times, and finally says "that's the shithouse door off of a shrimp boat."
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