Hey Hey Hey

If I could have two things happen to me today they would be the following:

1. I am told that I only need to work 20 hour weeks from now on and because of that my salary will double.

2. I hear �Jump� by the Pointer Sisters.

My bet is on number 2 happening since I know I have it on CD in my car. I like to give myself at least one achievable goal before walking out the door. Usually it involved jamming out to a favorite song of mine. Jump has been on my list for a while as was �Poison� by Bel Biv Devo(e). So like I promised, I would give documented proof of the walking cold sore I now know as Philadelphia. Wrote a song about it...liketa here�d here�d go:

Here we are by the silver bullet ready to take on the world or at least a tiny little slice of it that we know we could beat down should it try to get indignant.

Having gone to school at both Florida State and University of Maryland I am under the mind set that it is never, under any circumstances, too early for a 40 oz. I met someone yesterday with the same idea (no joke) who was buying a 40 oz of Schlitz at 8:15am. He even said he would have to be back soon so he would be able to finish out the day. Awesome.

Someone just up and left this car. No note, no nothing. We saw no evidence of a ticket the day we saw it, or the day we left. What the hell are you thinking Philadelphia?

Having fun with the red car:

Prepping for a night out. Reggie�s shirt says �I�ll do everything your ex-boyfriend wouldn�t.� A fun shirt to wear out and has scored him free drinks in the past. He thought he would go for broke.

Dear gay clubs of the world:

If you want to maintain business then never under any circumstances have an open dance floor when we walk into the club because we will take over the entire thing and everyone will be afraid to approach. You�ll probably lose business but you will make us happy. The choice is yours. If you know what�s good for you...you�ll make us happy. Enjoy the following visual aid, Reggie and myself, doing runway across the entire dance floor. It was complete with 360 turn, ugly look, and of course, all synchronized as Marcus was clapping to the beat yelling �WORK!� We did.

This picture pretty much sums up Philadelphia as a whole come 1:00am. Not only is this a bum sleeping on the street with some sort of walking aid, but as Gary was taking this picture a cop walked by as the flash went off. One would think he would have said something but he just kept on strolling.

We would have left her more, but my $1 bills were being used for the valet�s tip. I still thought it was a pretty good thank you.

Now for the �What the Fuck!?!?!� moment of the weekend. As we�re waiting for my car to be pulled up so we can peel wheels outta there and into a Denny�s we notice the cars starting to slow down in the center lane of Market St, the street we were staying on. It�s the heart of the financial district and there is money to be had everywhere. Even though it�s the weekend, the mothers hanging around the area are still pretty upscale. We look out into the street to see a bum walking in the middle of the center lane with traffic. Every once and a while he would turn around to yell/stare at the cars coming at him. Hey Jimbo...WHAT THE FUCK!?!?

This weekend coming up is not only the opening of the WWII Memorial in D.C. (enter 50 bajllion old people with walkers) but it is also Gay Black Pride (enter 1bajillion screaming ghetto black queens). It�ll be like clash of the titans. My money is on WWII vets because they can always trip up the queens in their heels with canes or walkers. The other alternative would be to just mow them down with their RV. In any event, you will not be seeing my ass in the city whatsoever. The fogies and the fags can do their thing and I�ll go back next weekend when it�s safe and sound. Until Wednesday people...

e.