Nasty Sausages

So, as you probably already know, Kristin was over this weekend for some Kill Bill action. We also made a trip to the retro clothing store. They had some flawless polyester pants but I was a little too scared to try those mothers on. We also had a fun time with the Chinese menu and going back and forth over how they�re all the same and have pretty much the same type of naming convention like �Super Fun Happy Family Smiley Pak, Blooming Lotus Flower Special, and Rainbow Sunshine Special.� Originally we planned on having sushi for dinner, which would have gone with the theme of Kill Bill. Since I only knew of places far away we decided Chinese was the next best thing. Our conversation Re: menu�s went back and forth for quite some time which was valuable to our cause since we ended up ordering pizza. The pizza was ok, although it had an odd tasting sauce, which I supposed doesn�t make it ok so go ahead and scratch that whole �pizza ok� thing.

Sunday I woke up and wanted some of my most favorite lean turkey breakfast sausage. I went to the store with Dr. C after I made sure that we would be driving, not walking. Luckily for me they had one package left (it�s a popular item). It vacuum sealed like the packages of ground turkey and I notice that it�s sort of over-puffy but figure whoever was in charge of filling it with air just got a little carried away. We buy groceries and get home. I�m all excited to have some breakfast so I pierce the packaging. The odor that poured from the package can only be described as the spawn of satan. Nasty nasty nasty. I then of course, made Dr. C smell it because I wanted him to know how gross it was. I threw it in the trash can and soon realized that even though we have one of those kick ass stainless steel ones that cannot be penetrated by bugs, I would have to throw it away outside. That�s how powerful it was. I should have realized that the ballooning of the package was evidence of a rancid smelling bacteria trying to escape. Thankfully I only cut a slit in the package and didn�t open it up full tilt bozo otherwise they may have come to life and tried to kill us.

I typed up my last meeting minutes that I will ever have to take for these government bastards and now it�s gonna be smooth sailing until I start my new job Monday morning in the grossly rich city of McLean. Hooray! I will be celebrating this victory by going out on Friday and then possibly egging my old office building. Not really though. My hair is in a Mohawk today and I couldn�t be more pleased. I�d show you but I have no camera/scanner/webcam, etc. You�ll just have to believe me when I say I look flawless.

e.