Gimmie a Break

It�s Wednesday already and I feel like I haven�t even done anything this week. Oh wait, that�s right, I haven�t. Work has been incredibly slow, however there was a voicemail left for me this morning from my client saying that he needed my help putting together a briefing for some executive meeting tomorrow afternoon. What that means is, I get to go over there and do power point slides, print them out, have them make corrections and do it over again. That will be repeated forever and ever amen. It�s always a royal pain in the ass to do crap like that because rather than sit with me while I write it and make corrections on the screen itself, they want a print out every time I make one tiny change. This means Eric wastes most of his day waiting for some shit to print so I can print it again. Luckily the meeting about the presentation isn�t until 2:00 so I have plenty of time to kill prior to that.

During my moments of freedom, I�d just like to take a moment to say that I love the Schick Quattro. That is the best razor ever created and I would like to give oodles of props to the design team. Not only is it the closest shave ever, but it�s also the coolest design ever. Eat that Gillette. Mach 3 Turbo my ass.

I�d also like to take a time out to say: Hey China, what took you so long? Bitches are four decades behind as far as putting a man into space goes. I guess they have enough problems what with having a population of one billion. I would think that would make the selection of one single person kinda difficult. I�d say communism was slowing them down, but come on; the USSR was first into space. However, when I picture the first Soviet in space I always imagine some general holding a gun to this mothers head saying that he�s either gonna get launched into space or he�s gonna get a bullet in the noggin. Still though, forty years later? Come on China! I�m disappointed.

I made my lunch last night and it includes salad, chicken sausages, and some dressing. The kicker is that for some reason our fridge is set quite high and the bag of baby lettuce was towards the back. When I picked it up, I found it rather odd that the package was stiff (did I just type that, seriously?). Anyway, the condensation inside the bag was frozen so I�m hoping that when lunchtime rolls around my greens will have defrosted and I can have my lunch without crunchy, ice coated lettuce.

My roommate moves out on Thursday and is going to his newly purchased condo. Pretty much everything in that apartment is his minus my bedroom stuff, the coffeemaker, and some pots and pans. I will come home on Thursday to an essentially empty apartment. I have previously stated that a barn dance will be held in the vacant apartment space so put on your cowboy boots or your clogs. I�ll try to have a little wooden platform for all you clog enthusiasts. Picture Riverdance only in a two-bedroom apartment. I hope that image makes you as excited as I am!

I�ve continued to read my book, Chaos. Why, oh why, did I think that was a good idea to read? I�m not even sure what possessed me to buy it. Now that I�m a quarter of the way into it, I feel I must finish it. It�s now a challenge of how far I can read on the metro without falling asleep. I didn�t do so well this morning. I remember reading something about quantum physics, a pendulum, Ben Franklin, and then I was out like a light. The cover of the book suggests a wild and crazy time while reading and a review from the NY Times states that �these are fascinating stories of insight and discovery, told with a keen sense of drama and excitement�Almost every paragraph contains a jolt.� Whatever NY Times, I�ll see you in hell�or whenever I finish this book. Whichever comes first. The amusing thing about the title of the book is that there is a bar in DC called Chaos and it�s filled with Latino Drag Queens. Now that�s Chaos.

I�m off to waste away until Power Point starts calling my name. If someone feels like making the trek down to D.C. to entertain me for a while let me know.

I was told after my car was serviced that I needed to replace my front brake pads soon. Whatever. Who needs brakes? What I need are breaks. �Gimmie a Break!� Where�s Nell Cater when you need her? Oh that�s right, she�s dead. I guess a Kit-Kat will have to suffice.

e.