conferences

OY!

Ok, so this is why Eric hasn�t updated in a day or so:

I have a conference that I am setting up/taking minutes for in my building. It goes from 8:30 to 5:00 everyday through Friday. That means that I get to sit there like a moron while people talk about things I could care less about and take down Action Items and then type them up at the end of the day to hand out. Sounds like fun, doesn�t it? Since I�m about 1/3 of everyone�s age attending the conference and whereas the conference is filled with women, Eric now has about 25-30 new mothers/grandmothers (depending on the age). Everyone smiles at me when they come in and/or give me a wink and one of those �good job� smiles when they notice I�ve been writing down things being said. I have suddenly turned into a child. During one of the breaks someone came up to me and said �Eric, you doing a really good job.� A compliment, yes, but it�s delivery reminded me of someone congratulating a pre-school kid for just completing a complex activity like cutting out shapes from construction paper. What I said was �Thank you so much. I do the best I can.� What I should have done is look up at her with a big grin on my face and started to drool while clapping my hands enthusiastically like I had just tied my shoes for the first time. Perhaps I�ll introduce that into the mix today.

I had to get here hella early to set up the room again for these mothers and try to find another table for people to sit at. We�ll see how high on the priority list that goes. Right now writing this entry is #1. I gotta make the right people happy in the right order. Lord knows I can�t be upsetting the virtual world�for it�s repercussions can result in a silent shun.

During my lunch hour yesterday I would have been more than happy to update, but instead I was sent on a wild goose chase trying to find a hub for people to connect their laptops to so they could check their email. I tried to explain that the computer I was using had a connection and they were more than welcome to use that during the breaks. They sent me anyway. I ran around for 45 minutes with the IT crew looking for a switch or a hub to set up and since they are moving all these offices around the building, all of them are gone. I go back up there and deliver the bad news and I got the following response:

�Oh, that doesn�t matter, can we use the computer you have hooked up to the projector?�

That statement alone almost made my heart stop beating. Apparently not only do these people think I�m their child, they also think I�m retarded. I�m Eric, the minute-taking retard. Please feel free to compliment me on my tie and ask me if I picked it out and tied it myself. Then pat me on the head and say �GOOD JOB!�

I guess I shouldn�t complain all too much. If I make a mistake I can always raise my hands, smile, and say, �I�m sorry� and listen to the collective �awwwwwwwwww� that would fill up the room. It�ll be like romper room. If that is the case that look forward to a story of me smashing everyone�s laptop, then pulling my hair, screaming, and saying �Eric make boom-boom� while I run out of the conference room.

Well, I hope I haven�t disappointed too many people with the lack of an update. I will attempt to do something funny and interesting to read at lunchtime, but who knows what kind of mission I will be forced to run while everyone else eats his or her light Cesar salads. Jesus Christ on a crutch, someone stop the madness.

e.