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This mother was sick yesterday. We�re not talking crazy sick, just a little touch of a cold. I was achy, sweaty, stuffy, etc. OJ was consumed, and upon leaving work, I decided that I wanted some chicken soup and goldfish crackers. I knew I had soup, but the last bag of goldfish had been used to make a snack mix for my lunch that day that also consisted of peanuts and cheddar cheese triscuits. I also needed to pick up some dayquil and nyquil so that I could fight these viral demons once I got home.

About half an hour before I headed out the door to catch the metro I realized that this mother needed to go to the bathroom�numbers 1 and 2. Why I decided to wait until I got home is beyond me. I get on the metro�scare myself three times after I feel sleep. Luckily, I did not bang my head against the window but I did manage to make scary faces each time I woke myself up�like I had just sat on a traffic cone.

I get to my car and decide to head over to the CVS that�s right by my office. There I could pick up the meds and the goldfish crackers. There is a grocery store that is closer to my house, but if I went there, then I would have to wait in a long ass line for certain lights to change. I go to CVS pick up the meds and I get distracted at the cash register by razors because I�m running out of my mach 3 turbo blades. I didn�t pick any up, paid for the meds and while I get in my car and pull away, I realize that I forgot the crackers. By this moment in time I�m ready to burst from all orifices. I then decide that one solution to my problem would be to drink the rest of the coffee I had in my travel mug left over from that morning. What the hell was I thinking? I guess I like a challenge.

I stop by another shopping plaza where the best thing I could think of is to go into 7-11 and pick up the crackers since they usually have them�but of course, they did not. The ONE time I decided to get something food oriented at 7-11 and they don�t have it. By this time I really pissed, really tired, and I�m about to do a yellow and brown tie-dye number in my underwear. I went to the grocery store close to my house and I was in and out of there in 3 minutes. You should have seen me moving through those aisles. It was a thing of beauty.

I got home�ate my soup and crackers�went to bed at 6:30�got up at 10 where I briefly talked to Dr. C on the phone (I probably sounded like I had died since I was way too confused), smoked a cigarette�took some NyQuil �went back to bed�woke up at 3:00, 4:00, 5:15, and 6:20 which is when I decided to finally get up and get moving. During my hour long sleep sessions following my first 3:00 am wake up ,I had a dream that I was working the graveyard shift at Dennys (as did my sister last night which is WAY fucking scary) where I was wearing a red bandana a la Aunt Jamaima and waiting on one 6 top which included my sister, one random mother from high school that I didn�t even know very well, and four complete strangers. The dream continued on in a nightclub where a friend of mine got into a fight with Whitney Houston.

I feel much better now that I have had about 10 hours of sleep, but now I�m all confused as to what day it is and what time it is�and if I�m going to have to work the graveyard shift again.

e.