2003-07-15 - 9:31 p.m.


 

Eric takes a tumble...part I

Thanks to my wonderful sister, Kristin (http://kristintracy.diaryalnd.com) I now have capabilities to dominate the diaryland world. My Diaryland membership has turned gold. I cannot tell you what exactly that means, but I know for a fact that I can upload pictures, which causes me to make this face:

:

One would think that doing gymnastics for the longest time would give you a certain sense of spatial awareness, balance, and overall grace. This is true to an extent, but I can also say that some of the clumsiest people I know were former gymnasts and the one thing I�m glad I took away from the whole experience of having my growth stunted was the fact that I can fall like a true champion. I seem to be desensitized to falling, which sometimes allows for a quick recovery, and at makes things worse at others. Here is the first story in a two or three part series on how Eric has made the transition from falling in the gym to falling at home, at school, and public places:

The scene is set a little something like this:

I�m living at home at the time and doing step aerobics in the living room. I�m not a big fan of running since my ankles are shot to shit, step allows me to do a choreographed routine so it�s sort of like you�re staring in your own music video all the while keeping you in good shape and also gives you a few trick moves to pull out on the dance floor should the spirit move you...and it often moves me. Luckily, the original Reebok Step video offered plenty of tribal beat goodness to jam out to.

In order to do my step routine I need to manipulate the furniture so I have full range of motion. The last thing I want to do is hold myself back while doing a right foot basic. I pushed the armchair back against one of the walls and put the ottoman put against the door the led out into the garage. I finish my routine and I�m felling sweaty and accomplished. I realize that there are no more cans of tuna in the kitchen to make my tuna salad. I�ve had a love for tuna salad for almost three years now and have practically had it everyday since then. I can safely say that I�ve probably killed several groups of dolphins in the process. Thanks Starkist!

Realizing that there is no more tuna cans in the kitchen, I run out to the garage to get some tuna. The door to the garage is open so that one of our cats, who is not allowed outside, can go out in the garage and feel all manly as he kills camel crickets and the random mouse that works its way into the garage. The ottoman is still in front of the doorway to the garage and instead of moving it like a normal person, I decide that I�m going to be stealth like a ninja and jump the ottoman, landing in the garage, right next to the cabinets, grab my tuna, and make a safe getaway without making the slightest hint of a noise. My cats would be in awe of my ability and agility and they would try to master my graceful transition from the living room to the garage to no avail. In order to take notes, one of our cats, Nigel had strategically positioned himself on an end table to witness what was sure to be the show of the century. I was the bus driver...and I was taking my cats to school.

I leap over the ottoman headed towards the garage and realize that my forehead is headed straight for the door frame. Math was never my best subject and I forgot to take into account that if I jumped over the ottoman, the space I would have to leap through would not be as big as the opening had the ottoman not been there. That having been said, I was on a collision course with the doorframe. My forehead hits the top of the doorframe, and the rest of my body still keeps going into the garage. My body is now parallel to the floor and I�ve my head has made a big enough noise to scare the ever loving crap out of my cat, Nigel who had taken this opportunity to run and get the other cat daphne so that when I landed, they could both mock me. I landed with my back on the ottoman, my feet in the garage, and my head sort of draped over the back. I looked like I was doing a bridge, only with a face that suggested that several of my vertebrae had been snapped out of place. A face not unlike I was making in the photo at the beginning of this entry.

My head did not hurt that badly...it was my ego that needed healing. To this day, there is a crack in the frame where my head hit it. Luckily my mother was not home to witness it or hear the sound it made because looking back, it was magnificent. My mom was there, however, when I managed to do some fancy footwork down the stairs in the morning...but that is another story... for another entry.

Happy Wednesday.

e.

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