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The only good story I have is that on the metro this morning, there was this chump on his cell phone and I overheard his conversations with what I only assume was his lawyer or accountant. He said something about how his wife dropped him off at the airport and then bought an Acura without his permission. The problem seemed to be that besides �her crazy impulse buying� her trade in was supposed to be 7500 dollars but I guess they didn�t give her that much and she didn�t read the contract at all. He started speaking louder and louder until he was eventually shouting �OK THEN, I�LL CALL YOU ON ANOTHER LINE.� Now I�m pissed because I want to know how things turned out. Maybe I�ll see him on my way home.

One time while driving cross-country, we stopped at this random restaurant in god knows what state, and I ordered a scotch on the rocks. I was 5 and I thought it would taste like butterscotch.