Braces on the Metro

Well, this story is a bit older but I'm too lazy to change the verb tenses. I want a cupcake.

Ok, so the metro this morning went a little something like this:

After forcing myself to shower and get dressed to go to work, I park my car and proceed to walk my ass to the metro station even though it�s 6:55 and the shuttle should be waiting to make it�s first run at 7:00. I have no time to wait for the shuttle as I do not want to listen to the driver talk to me over and over again about how people want to change his radio station when he�s the one that has to sit in the bus all day and drive people around. He�s a real nice guy, but this early in the morning, the last thing I want to do is discuss how most of the business men would rather not hear his favorite R&B jammy-jams.

I finish my power walk to the metro and as I�m headed towards the walkway I notice that the train is now pulling in to be filled up by all the snotty looking suits that ride every morning. I seem to be catching the same train everyday as I see the same faces over and over again. It also doesn�t help that I sit in the same train everyday, and practically in the same seat.

Right before the metro pulls out who should get on MY train? I�ll give you three guesses (1,2, and 3)�..a high school field trip! I shit you not�these mothers were ready to tear up the city and �see George�. I�d guess there were about 13 students accompanied by 4 adults. Of the 13 students, 11 were female, and two were fags in waiting. The chaperones were those overly enthusiastic teachers that you hated if you had them first period.

Unfortunately, there were no seats on the train for these mothers, so they all had to stand�and where did they stand you might like to ask? They stood right near me. I was hoping for some good conversation that I could make fun of at a later date, but there was nothing terribly noteworthy. I did discover a few stops later that they were from Idaho. Apparently two of the girls were just too excited to sleep last night and wound up walking around the hotel and then talking to the security guard at the hotel at 3:30. These students were rebels, I could tell. I just hope this city is ready. More amusing then their high school banter was the looks on all the commuters faces when they realized that the metro car had been contaminated by smiling faces and young people. I almost get thrown off the car on a daily basis strictly based on age alone, but at least I dress the part of a commuter with my shirt and tie. These kids were wearing jeans and old navy t-shirts. I may only be 22, but these mothers were obviously not of the working age�at least not of the �9 to 5� manner. Braces and hair in pig-tails do not scream �give me something to file�.

After several stops more, the mother sitting next to me gets off the train and I�m not sure if it was because this was his stop, or because he just wanted to get on another train. I whispered �save yourself� as he got off, but he didn�t hear me. It was now time for me to share my seat with Tiffany. Tiffany was a gymnast and had some sort of serious neck injury three years ago. It actually happened while she was cheering her freshman year, not while she was doing gymnastics. This was not said to me as I was pretending to sleep and not notice that they were giggling and then looking in my direction. My eyes were almost all the way shut and from the untrained eye, it looked like they were closed, but I could still see what was going on around me. This is one of my many 007 moves that has gotten me through life up to this point.

The bitches and hoes finally get off one stop before I do and I swear to god it looked like everyone on the train wanted to clap. It was the longest ride ever as I did not get to read my book and I was bothered by braces-wearing Tiffany and her band of fat and ugly high school friends from Idaho. Peel potatoes and get the fuck out of my way. I�m late for my lame ass job where I sit there and do nothing but read stuff online and write stupid stories that no one wants to read. I hope they have fun today.