kick in the shins

Gooooooooooooooood Morning Diaryland�WOOOOOOO!!! Things have been happening, I�ve been poppin and lockin like a Darren�s Dance Grooves DVD. Anyone wants to do the choreography from �Crazy� just let me know. I have a few stories and some minor points of interest/stats to share with the internet. First the stats:

Number of lighers in my murse: 7 (2 yellow, 1 orange, 1 aqua, 1 purple, 1 white)

Number of hits I received from German Google: 1 (how the hell did that happen?)

Number of pushups it takes me to be sore the next day: apparently 60

Number of minutes it took me to get ready on the fly this morning: 20 (It was like a flurry of soapsuds, shaving cream, elbows, coffee creamer, and toothpaste)

Number of stamps purchased this morning: 5 (using the machine at the post office. I had three dollars, but only wanted to use 2. The two dollars gave me 15 cents in change, which left me with $1.15, the exact amount I�ll need to get a diet coke with lime later on in the day.)

So, last night I�m sleeping in bed, minding my own business, dreaming a little dream about someone telling me that I have really nice finger nails when suddenly it was decided that Eric needed to get rammed really, really hard in the shins. My train of thought went something like �oh thanks, I try to take care of them, I don�t buff or anything��*BAM* (OMG PAIN!). Hats off to Dr. C for that one. I woke up and heard him say, � I think I was being chased by something�� Thankfully mother does not wear steel-toed boots to bed.

On the elevator this morning there were three of us riding up, someone got off at 3, and then while riding up to the 5th floor, where I get off, this woman turns and gives me this seductive �Hiiiiiiiii.� This �Hiiiiiiiiii� was complete with eyebrow raise, smile, and slight head nod. I have never seen this woman in my life and she looked to be in her mid-thirties. This seemed to be more than just a regular elevator �hi� that one might say as a �good morning� type of gesture. Mother was looking for action. I exited the doors and heard �you have a nice day.� Creepy.

So the gays can get married in Mass now. I fear for the rainbow of traffic that�ll be heading to Boston in mid-May. Note to self: don�t go to Boston anytime soon.

So the week of bright colors continue as I donned my pink shirt this morning. Who doesn�t belong here? I think it�s me. Last time I wore it I got someone, who said, �where�d you fine that color?� It�s pink people. A little red, a little white, and magically, this color is born. I�d be happy to do a color wheel or color triangle, depending on your preference of shape.

I was addicted to HSN last night because it was a showcase of Absolute jewelry. If you don�t know what Absolute is, then you need to go to HSN and look it up. In any event, they had beautiful rings for sale that quite frankly Ladies are not in stores for these prices. Channel set, princess cut, 2.5 karat, you can�t beat it for four easy flex-payments of $60.00. I guess now that I�ve gone from my original plan into HSN commentary, it�s probably time for this mother to sign off. I need coffee. I suppose I can�t say I�d rather get kicked in the shins then be here because that�s already happened to me. With the shin thing out of the picture, I�ll say I�d rather be sucker-punched in the gut.

Quick random thought before I go: Remember the villaness �The Siren� on the old school Batman show? Her hair was always FLAWLESS!

e.